I know at some stage you’re going to grow up and want to move out and right now that sounds wonderful in theory but in reality I want you to be my babies forever. I love being the centre of someone’s world and I know that’s entirely selfish and pig headed which I am a lot of the time but it’s wonderful to have two perfect little humans that think the world of me. I love your innocence and how fiercely you believe. You believe in magic. You believe in heroes. You believe life is easy. You believe you can do anything. You believe that mommy and daddy rock your world. Don’t stop believing. Life is magical, heroes are real, life can be easy, you can do anything and at one stage we did rock your world.
Like when its bedtime and Zoe snuggles on my lap to buy herself a few more minutes before we put her into bed. I love watching you pull on your ear, suck on your dummy and get sleepy.
Like when I make vegetable soup and Ethan asks me to feed him. Yes boy you were nine and definitely old enough to feed yourself but for some reason the vegetables don’t taste so bad when you don’t have to put the spoon into your own mouth.
Like the time Zoe plays Donovan and I up against each other and whoever is nicest to you will sport the title of either “mommy’s girl” or “daddy’s girl”. Even if it’s just for a minute and you change your mind again. Such a fickle toddler you were but so delightful!
Like the time Ethan drew a picture and put it under my pillowcase so I can find it when I go to bed.
Like the time when I walk into Zoe’s nursery school and her whole face lights up and she drops whatever she is doing and runs to me so I can scoop her up.
Like when Ethan tells me I’m the best mom in the world. I wish I could be better, I know I could be better but thank you for saying that and meaning it.
With time this will become a sweet memory and I’ll try and tell you this when you are an awkward teenager and you’ll get embarrassed and tell me to stop it. You won’t want to snuggle me before bedtime, you won’t want me to feed you at the dinner table, you won’t call yourself mommy’s girl, you won’t put innocent little pictures under my pillow, you won’t want me to scoop you in my arms when I pick you up from school and there will be times you won’t think I’m being the best mom. You’ll be growing up and you’ll be yearning for your own independence. I will give it to you because I love you.
Right now I’m going to hold onto your childhood and try and enjoy every minute. I’m going to soak up your innocence, the purity of being young and the simplicity it is being a child. I’m going to immerse myself in being your mommy and I’m going to be the best that I can so that I can rock your world a little longer.