Can I rewind back to 1994 please?

Don’t you wish life came with a pause, rewind and fast forward button?  Moments that could be recaptured, redone or not done at all.

I would hit that pause button on all those noteworthy moments in life that I’ve always dreamed of reliving, and without a doubt one of those moments would be the life changing minute when I was introduced to Ethan and Zoe.  That momentous moment when they handed you over, wrapped up in the white and blue hospital blanket, brand new and so sweet smelling.  My life changed in that instant.  In that instant I lived and breathed for someone else, someone whom I had never met before then, but someone who I would love for eternity.  I would pause and I would take it all in again.  I would savour every detail of the excitement, the euphoria and the joy you brought to us that minute.  That is definitely two of my very favourite moments.

Then there are moments that I don’t look forward to.  Moments where the fast forward button would come in very handy especially when it’s peak hour traffic on William Nicol after an exhausting day at the office.  Or it could be used for awkward meetings with school teachers about unacceptable classroom behaviour, my sons not mine.  Or tiring nights with a teething toddler or monotonous boardroom meetings?  The fast forward button would probably be used on a daily basis.

And then there is the rewind button.  The button to right wrongs and fix regrets.  The button I would  use to go back in time, to spend more time with my granny before she died.  The button that would take me back to 1994 so I could buy myself a few more weeks with her, where no doubt my choices would be different.  I would choose to sit at home with her on a Friday evening than go to Soccer Club parties with my friends.   I would choose to catch the first bus home after school to be with her instead of visiting friends and playing hockey.  I would choose to sit with her on her bed like we did on so many other occasions and even though I can’t really remember what we spoke about, things would just be comfortable and I would be in my happy place.  She always knew how to make you feel okay.  No, more than okay, she made us feel special, loved and important.  She was our family anchor.  She was the go to person.  She loved fiercely and she was loved fiercely.  By all of us.

Happy Birthday Granny.  You will never be forgotten.

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